Aug. 28th, 2009 02:14 pm
askmetobelieve: (Default)
I thought I'd make a post about binding. Right now I currently use two underworks binders and a wasit trimmer. The two underworks binders are 997, the double front compression shirt. They work okay but not a great deal. The waist trimmer is just something I bought from Walmart and cut a hole for the head and arms. It's cheap but compresses really good. I'm an DDD/E cup so this is a picture of how flat I get from using the things described above.

I get pretty flat considering how big I start out. It's enough for me to pass regularly.  Big guys aren't normally completely flat anyways. So it works well enough. Definitely do NOT ever use ace bandages. I use to before I had my binders and they were just a complete pain in the ass. They hurt when you wear them because they are made to constrict and tighten the more you breath. I couldn't wear them for more than a couple of hours. If you're going for the cheap method then I'd go for the waist trimmer. Make sure you get one that will be tight enough, but not so tight you have to dislocate a shoulder to get into it. I'm a big guy but I fit myself into a size large. So it can be done it's just a matter of finding the right size for you. Those are really the only experience I have with binding so I can't speak about any other methods. I just know what seems to work for me and my body.

in other news, I'm working on my coming out letters to mom and Nanny. Yes, still! I might just get Nanny to read the same letter I wrote my dad. But mom, well...I have to be gentler in the way I come out to her. I have to be a bit more delicate. She may be tough but I know telling her something like this would completely throw her for a tailspin. She wouldn't know how to respond. And if she did it would more than likely be with yelling. And more yelling. And probably some throwing of objects. And that is why she''s getting a letter and I'm not doing it in person.

askmetobelieve: (Default)
The scariest thing I can imagine is coming out to my mother. It would be even worse than coming out to Nanny. And Nanny is the religious one! You would think that. Because she's my mother she should love me no matter what. But to be honest I rarely feel like she truly cares and loves me. We've just never been close. And when you aren't close to someone, you have less of an idea about they will react. And the reaction I think she will have is one of horror and disgust. Sure she has a gay brother, but she hates the fact that I'm attracted to both men and women. She's always asking me 'So, are you still a lesbian?' and it gets to me. Shouldn't a parent love their child no matter what? I'm not saying that we have to agree on everything but she should at least be able to accept something like that since she has know since I was 13. Ten years and she still won't show any sign of budging. So you can imagine why I don't really want to come out as trans to her. I'm suppose to go visit her next week. I'm going to try and give her a letter similar to the one I gave my dad when I leave. Definitely to much of a chicken to give it to her when I get there. So, the next step would be her's. If she wishes to continue our relationship then that would be great. And maybe then my faith in her would be restored a little bit. Like I said this is the scariest thing I could imagine doing, but that is part of the reason why I want to do it. I need to stand up for myself and be true to who I am. And if she can't be happy and support me in this then that's on her. It wouldn't be my fault for her reaction. And I think that is one of the hardest parts to believe. I love my mom regardless of what she may have done or haven't done in the past. Even after all the bullshit and the abuse. It would still hurt me if she decided to no longer be there for me. I'm going to be obsessing about this until I tell her. Let's just hope I don't drive myself crazy in the mean time.




23, live in Manassas, Virginia. I have bipolar disorder and PTSD. I am transgender [pre-everything]

August 2009

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